When you give compliments to someone, you suddenly brighten their day. It is a delight for anyone to hear great words coming towards them. Think about yourself — wouldn’t you have a great day if the first thing you heard in the morning was a compliment?
Compliments are better than cash
Receiving compliments resembles finding a treasure. When you hear treasure, your mind contemplates cash; however, the fortune of giving and getting compliments is more profitable than money. That’s because a positive and motivated mind can create and achieve even those things you consider impossible. Scientists have proven this theory with several tests. They’ve shown that a person who receives compliments is happier and more productive than others. When you go to work, you may think you are motivated by cash, but the participants in certain behavioral tests were motivated simply by compliments.
Perform better when given a compliment
Let me tell you a short real story which happened to me a few years ago. It was the first occasion when I understood that the energy of compliments is one of the greatest powers in life.
In college, I was a semi-pro tennis player. May 5, 2011, was a great day for me and I remember it like it was yesterday. I was playing in the national final against the best player. She had won the first set, and was 3-0 in the second set. That was the time when I requested a mentor break. My mentor, Michael, knew I cherished motivational and helpful quotes; however, he understood that repeating some old quote wouldn’t accomplish anything in that moment, so he considered compliments a better way.
“You have been doing this for 10 years. You have been practicing like no other and you’ve never backed down. Remember who you are. You are the player who won her last 18 games. Coaches in this country are teaching their players using videos of you. You have the strongest and most accurate forehand. Your serve is a killer. Remember when you were injured and you won a game based on your serve and your return. You have the most accurate short slice. This is who you are. You are a combination of talent and ambition. Take each point at a time knowing who you are.”
No one had ever talked to me like that before. At that moment I realized what kind of player and what kind of person I was. It was the moment when the match started one more time for me. It was the moment I discovered compliments and understood its power. Yes, I won the match.
Receiving Compliments helps us learn
Every one of us wants to get better. Receiving praise and compliments helps you understand that you are not trying in vain. When someone compliments you about an activity you did, your brain wants more because it loves that feeling. Your brain will put you to work and you will start researching and learning more about how can you become better at what you do. Compliments will become your motivation.
Being a semi-pro tennis player, I have the habit of jogging every day. My friend Molly wanted to start jogging to lose some weight, and I wanted a running partner. After running together the first day, I complimented her, saying what a great runner and helpful partner she was. I told her that running that way, she will lose weight in no time. The next day she called to set the hour for our running session. We have been running together since then. She feels great and she has achieved her goal.
Real compliments can be offered to friends to make them understand that they are good at what they do, or to let them know you appreciate them. You can use compliments with people you meet for the first time: “Nice to meet you!” After some time you can say: “I really like how you are thinking,” or “You are a smart person; let’s talk again on other occasions as well.”
Though I have read a lot of articles on how to “build” a compliment, I think you should keep it natural. If you want to compliment someone, just do it. Use your imagination and your real thoughts.